The Science of Sexual Fantasies with Justin Lehmiller

October 3, 2018

Today we have Dr. Justin Lehmiller on the podcast. Dr. Lehmiller is a Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute and author of the book Tell Me What you Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Lehmiller is an award winning educator, having been honored three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University, where he taught for several years. He is also a prolific researcher and scholar who has published more than 40 pieces of academic writing to date, including a textbook entitled The Psychology of Human Sexuality.

On this episode we cover a wide range of provocative and fascinating findings from the largest survey on sexual fantasies of all time. Topics include:

  • The most common sexual fantasies among humans
  • The most taboo sexual fantasy category
  • Fantasy vs. desire
  • Reducing shame for the content of one’s sexual fantasies
  • The relationship between the fantasy-prone personality and sexual fantasies
  • The importance of sexual self-actualization for well-being
  • The benefits of open communication of our fantasies with our partners
  • Sexual orientation vs. sexual flexibility
  • The truth behind widely held stereotypes about BDSM
  • Gender differences in sexual fantasies
  • What your sexual fantasies say about you
  • The sexiest superhero
  • OCD and gender bending
  • Does size really matter?
  • Which fantasy is the least likely to work out when it’s actually acted out?
  • How can more people turn their fantasies into reality in a healthy way?
  • How can we break the barriers in society that prevent us from properly communicating our sexual desires?


3 Responses to “The Science of Sexual Fantasies with Justin Lehmiller”

  1. Georges says:

    Thanks Scott for another great podcast

    During listening to the both of you, the metoo movement came up and question popped up in my mind when coming to the topic “Not turned on” and “Not interested in”. How can you explain that people today use those expressions instead of “I don’t like”, “I hate”, “I’m disgusted by” etc?

    To me it sounds like saying:” the wall is not black”, instead of saying “it is white, cream..”

    Do you know a reason or the history of that kind of implication or reverse sense talking?

    Thanks a lot for your amazing show!


  2. Sharon says:

    Hi Scott. I do not like to share my thoughts online often but I had to in this case. I wanted to thank you and your guest Justin for being knowledgeable and through.

    I am part of the BDSM lifestyle as well as poly. It takes a lot of communication for both.

    The reason I am thanking you and Justin is the the simple fact that SSC was mentioned. That we are not misguided or emotionally broken. That being part of this lifestyle, full in or just kinky, takes a lot of talking. Thank you both for doing your homework, as it were.

    Scott, this means that I will take more time to listen to your podcast.

  3. An excellent discussion. I sometimes feel that, given the chance, more men would enact their fantasies than would women. You might be interested in my lecture on sexual desire linked above.

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