A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication with Oren Jay Sofer

by Scott Barry Kaufman, January 24, 2019

“Finding your voice, learning how to say what you mean, and how to listen deeply: this is one of the most rewarding journeys you can take.” — Oren Jay Sofer

Today we have Oren Jay Sofer on the podcast. Sofer teaches meditation and communication nationally. He holds a degree in Comparative Religion from Columbia University, and is a member of the Spirit Rock Teacher’s Council. He is also a Certified Trainer of Nonviolent Communication, a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner for healing trauma, and he is the Senior Program Developer at Mindful Schools. Sofer is author of Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication.

In this episode we discuss:

  • The importance of slowing down
  • Marshall Rosenberg’s system of nonviolent communication
  • How our behaviors can viewed as an attempt to meet a deeper need
  • Entering relationships from a sense of deprivation vs. a place of growth
  • The importance of relational awareness
  • The undervalued skill of healthy communication
  • Why intention is the single most important ingredient in dialogue
  • Martin Buber’s distinction between the I-Thou vs. I-It relationship
  • The importance of the “do over”
  • How to heal after a breakup
  • The importance of forgiveness and how it happens on its own time schedule


2 Responses to “A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication with Oren Jay Sofer”

  1. daniel levin says:

    how are you?
    hope this finds you well and happy.
    love the work you are doing in the world.
    it is in complete alignment with the connection work i am doing.

    isn’t it interesting that in the most connected time the world has ever known,
    so many people feel disconnected and unhappy.
    in fact, more and more people seem to have an insatiable need
    to be heard and understood
    and yet so few of us are willing to listen.

    i wanted to know how we became so disconnected? and so unhappy?
    so i listen to people.
    CEO’s, entrepreneurs, business leaders and regular ordinary people
    and the messages they tell me all speak a similar message.
    they feel isolated and disconnected
    and separated from what they really want.
    and that makes them unhappy.

    i facilitate conversations on helping people live inside out rather than outside in
    (how is it possible so many people have no idea who they are?)
    and i listen to them share with me how they lost connection in the first place . . .
    and then together we find the piece to re-connect again.
    peace by piece.

    In my book, The Mosaic (Waterside Press)
    I was given Four Practices to bring people
    from the isolation of separation to the fulfilment of connection.

    Would a conversation on the the 4 practices of connection
    increase the value you bring to the people who listen to your podcast?

    Live Connected. Live Happy. Live Mosaic.

    danny

    P.S. To learn more about me, please visit my website: TheMosaicOnline.com
    P.S.S. here is a sample podcast so you can see what kind of guest i am
    https://unmistakablecreative.com/podcast/man-walked-away-fortune-daniel-levin/

  2. Laurel Bach-Knapp says:

    The song that was mentioned “see me beautiful” is a song made for children. Red Grammer is the artist.

    See Me Beautiful
    Red Grammer
    See me beautiful
    Look for the best in me
    It’s what I really am
    And all I wanna be
    It may take some time
    It may be hard to find
    But see me beautiful
    See me beautiful
    Each and everyday
    Could you take a chance
    Could you find a way
    To see me shining through
    In everything I do
    See me beautiful
    See me beautiful
    Look for the best in me
    It’s what I really am
    And all I wanna be
    It may take some time
    It may be hard to find
    But see me beautiful
    See me beautiful
    Each and everyday
    Could you take a chance
    Could you find a way
    See me shining through
    In everything I do
    And see me beautiful
    Songwriters: Red Grammer

    Redgrammer.com

    He was highly influenced by the teachings of the Baha’i Faith and the writings of Baha’u’llah

    Message me if you have any other questions as I’m a student of Psychology and I was raised as a Baha’i, I think that there is much to be said for the influence this faith may have had on the perspectives of communication and in a Baha’i point of view “consultation” as being the fundimental principal in world peace and constructive communication. Open heart and peaceful communication.

    Thank you for your time!

    Your friend, and humble student of your posmdcast!

    Laurel Bach-Knapp

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