I was in Gold’s Gym the other day and suddenly the similarity between transgenderism and gym bros hit me.
Hear me out.
For the month of March (for women’s history month) I created a series on my podcast I called “Making Sense of Sex and Gender” where I featured a diversity of perspectives on the science and experience of transgenderism. It was a fascinating series!
A lot of people simply don’t understand the transgender experience. I totally get all the politics involved in the topic and all the debates. But putting all of that aside for a second, it occurred to me that in a way gym bros have a similar drive as transgender people. Maybe not exactly the same, but how is transgenderism all that different from being a male and wanting to be more male?
Personally I am really into weight lifting and after a really good session I just feel more masculine. I feel more in control, more powerful, more ready to “crush the day”. I like that feeling. It’s a major reason why I do weight lifting. How is that incredibly different, for instance, from a biological female who feels masculine and wants to be more masculine through body modification?
I think it can be very difficult for a non-transgender individual to conceptualize what it means to feel like the opposite sex. I sure know it has been difficult for me to wrap my head around it, even though I have compassion for it.
But I think this analogy may help (I hope!). Imagine mentally having the drive to be more masculine or feminine in your thoughts, behaviors, and in the perceptions of others but you just happen- due to no choice of your own- be born in a body that is at odds with it culturally. It can feel like an uphill battle to be constantly reminded by others that you simply aren’t what you believe in your head to be, and that you never can be that person.
Well, imagine being a gym bro and being made fun of for wanting bigger muscles and being told “You are a puny man, and no matter how many times you go to the gym you will still be a puny man.” That would hurt, especially if the person’s self-schema was very different from “puny”.
This is just an idea I had to at least attempt to increase understanding and compassion for those whose body is significantly out of sync with a person’s ideal self. Both our bodies and are minds are influenced by biology. It is entirely possible to have a more masculized mind in a female body or a more feminized mind in a male body. That is scientifically possible, no ideology required.
All the politics and controversies aside, the humanistic psychologist in me deeply wishes we could discuss the nuances of this topic in a way that was scientifically accurate, compassionate, and allowed people to at least attempt to understand the transgender experience.