One Alien’s Report on the Current State of Education on Earth

I don’t know if you’ve heard the big news, but we’ve been recently visited by an alien. His name is Cretal, and he is from the planet Zoran. He was sent over to Earth to study humans and how they achieve personal contentment and happiness in life. Cretal arrived without any knowledge of the labels we put on people; all he saw before him were billions of individuals who differed in many ways. In case you haven’t already read his report on one of the other major news outlets, here are his primary findings.